Guilt Trippin

One thing I´ve been trying to work on down here is the whole ¨guilt thing.¨ Many of you who are close to me may have noticed I tend to feel really guilty about not doing things or not attending events, and this usually results in me taking FOREVER to make up my mind. Well, it´s been getting better but at times I wonder if I am ¨saying No¨ too often.

A mantra of mine has been ¨I can only be in one place at a time, Corrie.¨ This past week I´ve received a lot of invitations to things, like a birthday party, an inaugaration, a parade, a dance...And I managed to go to all but the dance, which I think is pretty good. Yesterday was the end of fiestas for Zumbi, where I work with the FODI girls. So I woke up really early to get to the parade--Saturdays are my sleep-in days, and showed up, wearing a nice little outfit, and sweated like crazy...it was super humid...and acted as Paparazzi the whole time. It was a lot of fun and I always love a good parade (thank you SHS Marching Band...) but by the time I got home, I was so exhausted. I took a three hour nap and then went for a cleansing run. But when I got home I didn´t want to go to the dance, I knew it wouldn´t even start until midnight (when they say to come at 10 pm...) and I was just so wiped. I still feel kind of guilty for not going, because it was their fiestas, but my neighbor, Anibal, told me that´s what comes with fama, or fame. Which I laughed embarassingly at, however he was kinda right. I am more or less a figurehead here.

Friday night was another example of this. A school I give health charlas to, Paulina Solis, was inaugarating a new salon they built and they invited the Prefecto (governor) and mayor..it was quite the shindig. I was even invited to join them in the special dinner just for the government officials and teachers, which was great. However, it turned out to be a night of campaigns. The did the whole ribbon cutting ceremony, yet the officials that went up to say a ¨few words¨ ended up talking about 30 minutes each. I was like, are you serious?! The poor little girls in their hoochie dance costumes, who did the inaugural dance, were standing up there with the ribbon, patiently waiting for them to finish their speeches on poverty and lack of work, which totally related to what was going on.... It´s election season, so everyone is in the campaign spirit. Mayoral and Prefecto elections are at the end of April, so there are signs and posters and music and flyers EVERYWHERE. The Prefecto who was speaking is running again, so he was all preachy. I dipped out at 10 pm, but after being there three hours I felt I had served my duty.

So anyway, at times I find it difficult to say no and when I do, I feel bad about it. However, a person needs a break every now and then. We are only human. This is something I struggled with in the US and it´s just one of the cultural things that don´t necessarily exist here. Chris and I joke that when something is going on we should go because ¨It´s something to do¨ but in reality, it really is SOMETHING to do.